Messages from the past

Found an old phone from this time last year. Reading some of the messages to friends and family about the boys made me smile:

"Dan came running into the bedroom this morning, his first words: where ethan and daddy, dandan loth ethan daddy"

"Dan's been playing with the some action figures: lego-batman-starwars get ethan" (Dan called himself after the names of his favourite toys and films).

"Ethan helping me to make some toast, 'try not to burn it daddy'"

Guess what Ethan, your dad's finally figured out how to turn the toaster down and have toast without extra ash ;)

Update (8pm same day): ironically, I burnt my dinner this evening ;)

It just needs time...

While our search for my wonderful two little boys Ethan Leaning and Daniel Leaning - who were taken from us, their friends and family by their mum, without warning, reason or even a chance to say good-bye earlier this year - continues mother nature has sent us a signal that our hard work will payoff eventually.

Shocked and dumb-struck

Although it shouldn't have been a surprise, the sheer number friends and relatives of Ethan and Daniel who have come forward to tell us they're missing the boys, send their thoughts and offer help and support has been truely staggering.

Not a single day passes without people stopping us in the street, calling us or stopping to ask after them, pass on their regards and offer support. Literally hundreds of Uncles, Auntie's, cousins, school friends, neighbors and friends are asking about where our two little men are, if there's any news and to say they've been thinking of them and miss them.

What's also struck us is every single person we've spoken to is shocked and dumb-struck that my ex-wife has taken two small children from their relatives, family, friends, schools where they were thriving and the community they've grown up in.

To everyone who has and continues to offer support and send their best wishes to the boys, thank you.

Little boys - lost in space

It's been just over three weeks now since we last saw Ethan and Daniel and we and their friends and family here all really missing them. The house isn't the same without them, they filled the home with their laughs, cheeky antics and above all chatter, shouts and love.

“Until that day… till all are one.”

Today was the official release date for the movie Transformers 3.

Ethan loved the Transformers, aside from his Nerf Raider strike gun and bicycle, his favourite toy was his Octimus Prime robot which he got for Christmas and watching the films.  Although we never figured out how to transform Octimus into the lorry, he loved to play with it and we spent more than a lot of time in their bedroom lining up rows of little plastic solders and dinosaurs against the giant Orange robot for immense battles. It was usually an unfair war. Octimus nearly always got the upper hand against my row of miniature warriors but when Dan and his little transformer, which we did manage to figure out how to transform to car and back, joined in and which he'd race around knocking Octimus over my plastic army occasionally won.

He's only been to the cinema a few times so I was planning on taking him to see the third installment at Ashford when it was released. That would have been today. It'll now to have wait until they return but to borrow the words of Optimus himself,

"until that day... till all are one"

I'll buy it on DVD and save it for when they return and we can watch all three films back to back over Pizza and pop-corn.

Breaking the news

It's been 5 days now since I received word that my ex-wife had absconded with my two boys leaving no forwarding address and telling me via letter not to try and find her. Today we had to break the awful news to Bev's children that they're brothers and closest friends had gone away.

"ethan please listen to my letter"

Hi boys, while we can't speak to you directly we (Lily, Bev, me and even little Fred) thought we, your friends and other relatives can write to you on here telling you what we've been up to and would say to you if you were here. We'll write our messages here whenever we'd normally talk to you. Hopefully one day soon you'll be able to reply.

Next year boys, next year

Sleeping has become impossible. Lying in bed, my mind churns over and over wondering where my two little men are, what have they been doing, how Ethan will have missed his bed time story tonight and Dan's giggle following his "squish" cuddle before being being tucked under his Thomas the Tank engine douvet and hearing "nite nite daddy" as they both close their eyes.

My thoughts drift to darker visions.

I try to banish them with positive images. Bev's fantastic and tries to divert my attention with talk of actions we can take the next day: making the house wonderful for when we see them again, etc. Usually I end up getting up and watching reruns of Myth Busters, How its Made and the like on Discovery until herds of number chanting sheep drag me into slumber.

I woke this morning determined to focus my energies positively. Action one, order prints of the my family together and the wonderful times we shared and will have again. The picture right being of Ethan and Lily just a few days ago when we had a day at the local fayre. Ethan loves animals so the chance of a donkey ride with Daniel (below) and his sister Lily was jumped at.

I'll never forget their smiles and laughs as they rode back, bouncing around in their saddles. Surpassed only by the excitement when they went on the ghost ride, "again daddy, again".

Before my ex-wife absconded with them, Ethan and I had been secretly planning a day out at another local fayre next month as a belated birthday gift for his step-mum, Bev. Next year, boys, next year.

Pictures: Ethan Leaning and Daniel Leaning and step sister Lily on Donkey rides at Lydd Club day 2011.